Parody like ghazal

[Anil Kala]

I was reading this ghazal of Khwaaja Miir 'Dard' it has the word 'kabaab'. Since this word has mostly lost sheen due to repeated usage by stand up comedians therefore the ghazal sounds like parody, at least the she'r does...

shab guzarii aur aaftaab nikalaa
tuu ghar se bhalaa shitaab nikalaa

ae aatish e ishq jis ko ham yaaN
dil samjhe the so kabaab nikalaa

idhar ko jo muskraa ke dekha
kuCH to jii se hijaab nikalaa

har chaNd kiye hazaar naale
par jii se na iztaraab nikalaa

maikaanaa e ishq meN to ai 'Dard'
tujh sa na koii KHaraab nikalaa

[Anil Kala]

kaam mardoN ke jo haiN so wahi kar jaate haiN
jaan se apni jo koii ke guzar jaate haiN

maut kya aa ke faqiiroN se tujhe lenaa hai
marne se aage hi ye log to mar jaate haiN

( have the faqiiron ki jamaat shown in bad light here?)


diid waa-diid(?) jo ho jaaye Ghaniimat samjho
juuN sharar warna ham ae ahle e nazar jaate haiN

aaNkheN is bazm meN seNkii hai jinhoN ne Tuk bhi
shamh ki tarah girebaaN liye tar jaate haiN (?)

be-hunar dushmani ahl e hunar se aa kar
muNh pe chaRHte to haiN, par jii se utar jaate haiN

ham kisii raah se waaqif nahiiN juuN noor e nazar
rahnumaa tuu hi to hotaa hai jidhar jaate haiN

aah m'aluum nahiiN saath se apne shab o roz
log jaate haiN chale, so ye kidhar jaate haiN

ai rag e abr ye mizhgaaN bhi agar Tuk barseN
aik pal meN kai taalaab to bhar jaate haiN

taa qayaamat nahiiN miTne ka dil e aalam se
'Dard' ham apne iwaz CHoRe asar jaate haiN

[v***@gmail.com]

Post by Anil Kala
maut kya aa ke faqiiroN se tujhe lenaa hai
marne se aage hi ye log to mar jaate haiN
( have the faqiiron ki jamaat shown in bad light here?)

Not really Anil sahib; at least I don't believe so. 'maut se pehle marna' is not an unusual construct in Urdu poetry, 'ishqiia' or 'suufii'. 'faqiir' and 'aashiq' log aisii baaten aksar karte haiN, ya'ani ki mehbuub ke hij'r men jiite jii mar jaana. yeh 'ishq' haqiiqii ho yaa majaazii.

Ahmed Faraaz ka aik Khuubsuurat she'r hai jis se baat wazeh ho jaaii hai:

kitnaa aasaaN tha tere hij'r meN marna jaana
phir bhii ik um'r lagii jaan se jaate jaate

Ghalib ki jis she'r pe aap ne siwaal uThaaya tha, voh bhii kuchh aisii hii baat ka trajumaan hai:

ya'ani ki, (ham tire hij'r meN mar to chuke haiN) lekin jaan jaane ka din to muayiian hai, aur us ke iNtezaar ki bechainii se ham raat bhar so nahiiN paate.

Best regards,

Vijay

[Naseer]

Post by v***@gmail.com
kitnaa aasaaN tha tere hij'r meN marna jaana
phir bhii ik um'r lagii jaan se jaate jaate

Is n't this shi3r something like this, Vijay SaaHib?

kitnaa aasaan thaa tire hijr meN marnaa jaanaaN
phir bhii ik 3umr lagii jaan se jaate jaate
..................

Naseer

[v***@gmail.com]

Post by Naseer

Post by v***@gmail.com
kitnaa aasaaN tha tere hij'r meN marna jaana
phir bhii ik um'r lagii jaan se jaate jaate

Is n't this shi3r something like this, Vijay SaaHib?
kitnaa aasaan thaa tire hijr meN marnaa jaanaaN
phir bhii ik 3umr lagii jaan se jaate jaate
..................
Naseer

You are absolutely right Naseer sahib:

It should be 'thaa', 'tire' and 'jaanaaN' but it is 'aasaaN' not 'aasaan'.

Now that I am here, in the opening line jaaii----> jaatii.

Best regards,

Vijay

[Anil Kala]

Post by v***@gmail.com
Not really Anil sahib; at least I don't believe so. 'maut se pehle marna' is not an unusual construct in Urdu poetry, 'ishqiia' or 'suufii'. 'faqiir' and 'aashiq' log aisii baaten aksar karte haiN, ya'ani ki mehbuub ke hij'r men jiite jii mar jaana. yeh 'ishq' haqiiqii ho yaa majaazii.
kitnaa aasaaN tha tere hij'r meN marna jaana
phir bhii ik um'r lagii jaan se jaate jaate

darasal mere zehn meN Rahiim ka ye doha thaa

Rahiman ve nar mar chuke je kahuN maaNgan jaaye
unte pahle ve mue jin mukh niksat naay

But i guess 'faqiir' is given exalted status in poetry so 'maut se aage marna' could mean they are completely immune to 'KHauf of qazaa'.

Thanks

[Anil Kala]

jag meN koi na Tuk haNsa hoga
ke na haNste men ro diya hoga

un ne qasdan bhi mere naale ko
na suna hoga, gar suna hoga

dekhiye, ab ke Gham se jii meraa
na bachegaa, bachegaa kyaa hoga

dil zamaane ke haath se saalim
koi to hoga jo ro diya hoga

haal mujh Gham-zada ka jis tis ne
jab suna hoga ro diya hoga

dil ke phir zaKHm taza hote haiN
kahiiN Ghunchaa koi khilaa hoga

yak na yak naam le uTha mera
jii meN kyaa uske aa gayaa hoga
****
mere naaloN pe koi duniya meN
bin kiye aah, kam(?) rahaa hoga

lekin us ko asar KHuda jaane
na huwaa hoga ya huwaa hoga

**** Are these she'r related?

qatl se mere woh jo baaz rahe
kisii badKhwah ne kahaa hoga

dil bhi ai 'Dard' qatra e KHuN tha
aaNsuoN meN kahiiN giraa hoga